Trash the Bottle

Trash the Bottle

Sour milk has been spoiling in the stomachs of the world’s fine people for far too long. Too often is this issue “put on the back burner.” I say this is an issue we must address now. Though most milk, when handled properly, is save to consume, there is still mike out there that is a danger to our lives as we know them.

            There are too many things that must be correct for milk to be good and healthy to drink. First, one must check the expiration date. One of the many dangers of milk is how after a certain amount of time the milk actually will go bad. This is not at the fault of the consumer, but rather the evil milk itself. Second, one must consider the heat at which the milk was exposed to. At room temperature milk will go bad in roughly two hours. Though this fact brought more questions forward. I am simply confused about the measure of room temperature. What temperature is the “room temperature” they speak of? All throughout my eighteen years of life I have experienced many different rooms, at many different “room temperatures.” Though I digress, let me move forward and expose the horrors of milk. Third, one must monitor the milks exposure to light. Light can also magically make milk go bad.

Sound like too much work to have to keep tabs on all these different things? I think so too. But don’t fret. I have the solution to the problem at hand.

            I suggest we stop getting out milk in bottles from some farm in “who knows where” and go straight to the source. I’m suggesting we switch to an entirely breast fed society.

Breast milk is the milk produced by the breasts (or mammary glands) of a human female. The benefits include increased intelligence, decreased likelihood of contracting middle ear infections, cold, and flu bugs, reduction in risk of diabetes, decreased risk of asthma and eczema, decreased dental problems and decreased risk of obesity.

Breastfeeding will also be healthy for the supplying end of the transaction. It assists reducing the size of the uterus as well as assisting the supplier in losing weight.  Breastfeeding also reduces the risk of breast cancer.

I feel that switching to an entirely breast fed society will solve all our problems. One would never have to fret over the condition of their milk, or where their milk may have been prior to entering their possession. One would be able to suck their sustenance directly from the teat with confidence.

Aside from the obvious health benefits, this societal change will also be able to help building relationship and strengthening our society as a whole.

In conclusion, becoming a strictly breast fed society will completely illuminate the dangers of normal milk and strengthen our society.

Stay thirsty my friends.